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| So, lots of stuff has been going on, some good some hard... but there are some definite lifestyle changes.
Last night I took a Claritin D before bed (bad idea?) and was greeted with insomnia. I maybe got three hours of sleep. But I decided to just say hello to the morning and get going early. I did my hair, ironed my shirt, makeupped my face impeccably and headed out the door. I put Kanye West's Graduation in to listen to the whole CD for the first time and the first song was "Good Morning". I just smiled. Then a coworker on the way to the gym pulled up next to me on the road and waved hello. I went to the bank and got myself some Starbucks and felt really really good.
I look fabulous, I feel fabulous. I'm one of the first people in the office this morning and I'm just enjoying the quiet. Lawd, I wish I had more mornings like this. Here's to a great day!
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| Yay, car! 2005 Honda Accord LX (with DVD player!) 41k mi
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| When I'm just playing around on the computer at home or at work, I fantasize about taking trips - to San Francisco, Hawaii, the Keys, London - by looking up plane tickets online. I find the best deals ever (seriously, this "game" that I play combined with my travel booking experience for work makes me a pro) that I could be a travel agent and probably love it. I need to get out of here. But speaking of needing to get away...
All I can think about lately is moving! I'm always google mapping the drive. Craigslisting jobs. Wondering how much the rental truck will cost and whose car we should tow there. When. If we'll have a going away barbecue.
And I think about what I'll miss. I don't think we'll be gone forever and ever, but I have better girlfriends now than I have in a long time. And everyone is going through these major milestones and I'm going to miss them 
Also, one of my biggest mental stresses is about a possible wedding. No, we're not engaged yet, but our 3 year anniversary is May 9. So the intent is most definitely there. But what do we do in a couple years when the time comes and we're chillin' in Denver with some of Jeff's family, while others are in Michigan and out East... and my family is in Ohio, Kentucky and California? Do we elope (ideal) and have 2 receptions in totally different geographic locations? I think we would call Columbus "home" (because who in Colorado would know where Beavercreek is?) but once we leave, there will only be a handful of friends here and my family an hour south of the 'Bus. I'm afraid of not having very good friends. No one for a wedding party (which we won't have to worry about if we elope!).
I know it'll fly by fast, but August seems far away from a planning perspective. I almost can't wait to request to move to our parent company in Denver (if anything is available) and wave goodbye to my current position. To book the truck. To send my resume out (if needed). To apartment hunt. To say my farewells and probably bawl like a baby when I know I'll miss my family and the great rental/property prices of the midwest.... and farewell to Buckeye football season.
Oh, on another note, very soon I will have a new car 
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| I guess that I should blog--- I like reading through things I used to write, even though I think I cursed too much back in the day-- I mean, I still do, I just don't think I type those four letter words as much anymore. I've become more uptight with age 
See that picture over there? And this one right here?
Two different summers, one geographic location (roughly, same state!) -- the plan?
Denver, CO, August 2008, I hope you have room for a couple more Buckeyes!!!
I won't get into the flashes of anxiety I experience over this...
My banana nut bread is calling :) I bought new Martha Stewart baking pans!
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| This is something I need to come to terms with.
Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now...
Sometimes I just say stuff. I never lie. I'm never overly opinionated on controversial things. I think I just say the wrong things to the wrong people. My face flushes and I stammer when I try to defend what I've just said or retract any offenses I may have caused. Foot in the mouth syndrome.
I think that I take what I say more personally than the people I'm talking to.
I'm not sure if I "run my mouth" or am too "gabby"--- I can get extremely chatty when I've had caffeine. I know my volume increases in social situations and when I've had a drink.
Sometimes I just say stuff. I don't necessarily go in for shock value, but I like to say it big. I'll say things bluntly (usually about myself). Once I get on a topic I'll likely revisit it.
When I say the wrong thing, I usually dwell on it too much. I almost get anxiety about it. I've recently come to find out that I don't mind gossiping. Actually, I like it. Not malicious gossip (generally), but I think a lot has to do with my own misgivings and insecurities. I don't want to make other people look bad and if I do I end up very sorry.
This is very hard to come to terms with. I wish I were a quiet person.  But there. I've said it. Have you?
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